The Journey that everyone is on

In this life, we have this idea of how we think the relationships in our lives should go. Our parents should be this sounding board and ultimate wise counsel for us to refer to, our friends should always be there to cheer us up and on. And let us not forget our romantic partners who from them we expect everything in between?

But what happens when that person in that particular relationship can no longer fit that job description we unconsciously hired them for in our hearts?

No viewpoint lasts forever

When you realize your parents, for many whom they would view as powerful as God himself, is just as flawed as you are? What state of mind does that put you in?

Or understanding that your friend cant always be that good time you could eternally anticipate them to be. What about when your romantic partner doesn't seem as great like they were on your first date?

It’s not always about you

While you may be sharing a journey with someone, that someone has a journey of their own outside of you. And yes that includes your parents too! Parents themselves have journeys outside of their children and vice versa.

I say that for some of us to realize how we can even have some compassion for our parents in raising us, in whatever it is we felt they did or didn’t do. Because for many of us who do have children or will someday, we’ll be making plans and figuring it out as we go along. Just like our parents did!

And let us not ignore those moments where our partners may not seem as actively engaged in the relationship as we are. We start to assume so many things, and many of us at times are not considering what they may be dealing with personally (e.g., work, finances, mental health issues).

It’s not always this consideration needs to be given. It all depends on where you are at in your relationship with that person and it’s capacity. However consider that your partner has their own goals, ideals and beliefs that may be slightly or even completely different from yours. And some of those which will grow and develop over time.

Some developed before you were in the picture, some during and unfortunately for many once you leave the picture.

What you believe may not necessarily always matter

I am a firm believer that people don’t have to have the same beliefs to coexist, they just have to have the same values. Because a person could have erroneous beliefs about their world and about themselves. But that doesn’t mean I have to believe it with them.

However, values are important. What do you value? Family? Friends? Work? Clothes maybe? Material things (Hey some people do)?

I know whoever is entering into my journey must value something I do as well, how else could they have ended up in my universe? Like attracts like doesn’t it?

Understanding that everyone around me is on their own journey containing inside of themselves; some of their own beliefs has really helped me in letting go of any resentments, regret and unforgiveness. Everyone is learning and figuring out this thing called life just like I am. No one ever stops. Don’t let those self-help gurus fool you.

I understand that I don’t have to hold onto the disappointment I experience with others. I understand sometimes my expectations of others may be things they may not be able to fulfill or have the capacity to at least.

And if they don’t have the capacity to be in relation with you the way you desire, then guess what? You’ve got a decision to make. To either stay in the relationship with them knowing what capacity they can fulfill or walk away?

The capacity of what type of role people play in your journeys is completely up to you.